The emotional intelligence of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (SAW)
In an age where emotional intelligence is praised as a hallmark of effective leadership, great character, and self-mastery, the life of Prophet Muhammad (SAW) stands as a shining, timeless example. Long before modern psychology coined the term “emotional intelligence” in the 1990s, and long before self-mastery books about emotional intelligence were published, the Prophet (SAW) was a living example of the most important principles one should have within themselves: self-awareness, empathy, emotional regulation, social skills, and motivation. Indeed, the Prophet’s (SAW) exemplary modeling of these values is the best mankind has ever seen.
When you look at the life of the Prophet (SAW), you find that there are many glorious dimensions to his contributions and efforts outside the realm of prophethood. He was a statesman, a warrior, a teacher, a reformer, all while being a deeply, emotionally attuned human being. His ability to understand people’s feelings, respond with compassion, and lead with ilm drew even his enemies near to him out of sheer awe. In a time when tribalism and harshness were norms in society, our Prophet (SAW) taught the importance of rahmah. Where vengeance was a norm, he modeled forgiveness. His emotional insight was not merely a personal trait, but a manifestation of divine guidance. This is why Allah (SWT) blessed him with the honorable title not used before for any prophet, Rahmatun lil ‘Aalameen (A Mercy for the Worlds).
This article will explore the emotional intelligence of the Prophet (SAW) by reflecting on key moments from his life, supported by authentic sources, demonstrating how this prophetic quality remains relevant and transformative for every generation. This article is especially important for today’s youth because it highlights how emotional intelligence is not just a modern concept, but one that is deeply rooted in the Sunnah of the Prophet (SAW). By reflecting on his example, young Muslims can develop stronger character, healthier relationships, and a deeper sense of self-awareness grounded in faith and compassion.
Self-awareness and emotional regulation
One of the primary components of emotional intelligence is self-awareness, and this is the ability to recognize one’s own emotions and manage them appropriately. The Prophet (SAW) exemplified this quality in both private and public moments. A powerful example is found in the famous hadith recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim where it is recorded that a man approached the Prophet (SAW), seeking his advice. The Prophet (SAW) simply said, “Do not become angry.” The man repeated his request for advice several times, and the Prophet (SAW) gave the same response each time.
This concise instruction demonstrates how the Prophet (SAW) emphasized emotional regulation as a key to personal development and social harmony. Anger is not denied as a human emotion, but the Prophet’s (SAW) guidance indicates that we must be mindful of how we express it. In this, he is encouraging self-awareness where we have to pause, recognize the emotion, and respond with control.
Recorded in hadith, Ali ibn Abi Talib (RA) described the Prophet’s (SAW) character when he said, “The Prophet (SAW) never struck anyone with his hand, neither a woman nor a servant, except when he was fighting in the path of Allah.” (Sunan Abu Dawood)
Nowadays on social media, we find that many people encourage the idea of seeking revenge upon others if they are perceived to have wronged you, especially if that person is a mo’min, your own brother in faith. This does not garner us the love and appreciation of Allah (SWT), and it certainly does not bring us closer to Him, either. Lady Ayesha bint Abu Bakr (RA) is recorded in hadith stating, “The Messenger of Allah (SAW) never took revenge for himself, but when the limits of Allah were transgressed, then he would take revenge for the sake of Allah.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)
Despite the immense pressures that the Prophet (SAW) had to face – hardships unlike those borne by any prophet before him, including immense betrayal, war, and personal losses – he (SAW) never allowed anger or grief to cloud his judgment. In fact, at the death of his beloved son Ibrahim (RA), when the ignorants would laugh and taunt the Prophet (SAW) that his legacy was no more, our Prophet (SAW) wept – the best of mankind, the strongest and most masculine of men, showed emotion, teaching us that it is not a sign of weakness at all.
This balance between acknowledging emotion and staying grounded in faith shows the Prophet’s (SAW) incredible emotional maturity.
Empathy and understanding others
Perhaps the most defining feature of the Prophet’s (SAW) emotional intelligence was his empathy. He could understand and respond to the emotional states of those around him whether it is family, companions, or even enemies. One of the most moving examples is a story of the younger brother of Anas bin Malik (RA) whose pet bird had died
This seemingly small encounter reveals much more than what meets the eye. The Prophet (SAW) noticed the boy’s sadness and gently engaged him with this playful and compassionate question, taking the time to comfort the child. This level of attentiveness and emotional sensitivity speaks to a heart deeply connected to the emotions of others, even children.
Another example is how he treated those who made mistakes. Everyone makes them; it’s a part of being human. SubhanAllah, we find that Muslims encourage other Muslims to publicly speak and shame on the mistakes made by other mo’mins in the form of gossip, rather than guiding privately. This is not the Sunnah of Rasulallah (SAW). A Bedouin once urinated in the mosque, which is a major offense. The companions rushed to stop him, but the Prophet (SAW) told them to leave him, and later advised him gently. (Sahih Bukhari)
Instead of reacting with anger, he (SAW) responded with hikmah and emotional insight. He (SAW) recognized the man’s ignorance and taught with patience.
Social skills and relationship building
The Prophet (SAW) built strong relationships with people of all types, whether they were companions, enemies, tribes, or complete strangers. He (SAW) used kindness, listening, and tailored communication to connect with people at their level.
In Shama’il al-Tirmidhi, it is documented that, “The Prophet (SAW) used to face his companions, speak to them, and make each feel that he was the most honored.” (narrated by Amr ibn al-As (RA)) It was further recorded in the same literature that, “The Messenger of Allah (SAW) used to sit wherever the gathering ended and would not distinguish himself.” (Narrated by Abu Mas’ud al-Ansari (RA)) In Sahih al-Bukhari, it is written about the Prophet (SAW), “Never was the Prophet (SAW) asked for a thing to be given for which his answer was ‘no’.”
This kind of patience and emotional grace is a rarity in today’s society, especially with those working under one’s authority. Yet the Prophet (SAW), the leader of the greatest mission in mankind, made it a cornerstone of his character.
He also understood the importance of naming people with affection and giving nicknames, such as calling Lady Ayesha bint Abu Bakr (RA), “Aish,” or addressing his beloved Ali ibn Abi Talib (RA) with titles of endearment. These gestures built bonds of love and trust.
Emotional support in times of crisis
The Prophet (SAW) was often the emotional anchor for his community. In moments of collective fear, grief, or uncertainty, people turned to him for strength. When the Muslims were trapped and starving during the Battle of Khandaq, the Prophet (SAW) lifted their spirits by sharing prophecies of future victories. When companions lost loved ones, he visited them personally, made dua for them, and cried with them.
His emotional intelligence was not limited to one-on-one interactions, it extended to leading an entire Ummah with psychological care. He ensured that emotional wounds were healed, and hearts remained connected to Allah (SWT) and to one another.
A prophetic model for today’s society
Modern researchers like Daniel Goleman highlight five key components of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. The life of Prophet Muhammad (SAW) illustrates all of these, not as theory, but as a lifestyle lived daily. He modeled emotional strength with softness, leadership with humility, and correction with compassion. In a world that often swings between emotional suppression and uncontrolled outbursts, the prophetic example offers a middle path rooted in sincerity, mercy, and divine connection.
His mercy was not just theological, it was deeply human, expressed in his tone, touch, tears, and time.
The emotional intelligence of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) is not a modern concept, it is a divinely cultivated reality, manifested in his every word, gesture, and relationship. His ability to feel for others, regulate his own emotions, and nurture the hearts around him was not merely personal, it was prophetic. For Muslims today, especially the youth, this example should offer more than inspiration. It provides a roadmap for you for personal reform. In homes, workplaces, masajid, and online spaces, we are tested daily in our character. Sometimes by other Muslims as well. Many of us struggle with irritability, impatience, sarcasm, backbiting, or a quick temper, especially toward fellow Muslims.
Yet the Prophet (SAW) said, “The best among you are those who have the best manners and characters.” (Sahih Bukhari) And Allah (SWT), Himself, states of the Prophet (SAW) in Surah al-Qalam, “And you are truly ˹a man˺ of outstanding character.” (The Clear Quran® 68:4)
If we truly love the Prophet (SAW), we must begin to live his example, and here are some practical ways to start today:
- Always pause before you react to something (especially if someone may have said something to you that you don’t like).
- Smile, because it is a Sunnah – it’s even scientifically-proven to help boost your mood!
- Make dua for espousing the qualities of best character daily.
- Avoid harsh language and jokes at each others’ expense.
- Assume the best of others.
- Spend time with The Quran and Sunnah more often than with people who might lead you astray.
- Seek forgiveness and apologize quickly if you may have hurt someone unintentionally.
Dua
Oh Allah! Clothe me with the most excellent robes of guidance and righteousness! Oh Allah! Plant through Your tremendousness, the springs of humility in the watering place of my heart! Oh Allah! Chastise the recklessness of my clumsiness with the reins of contentment.
Oh Allah! Pardon the slips and errors I have committed, and release me from the foot-tangling of my robe. Oh Allah! My heart is veiled, my intelligence is defeated, my obedience is little, my disobedience is much, and my tongue confesses of sinning so, what am I to do?
Oh Allah! Forgive my sins, all of them, and draw me nearer to You as the companions drew near to You through their beloved Prophet (SAW).
Ameen!
